CRISES. WHY IS SHE OPENING UP NOW? HERE'S ABC'S ROBIN ROBERTS. WHY IS SHE OPENING UP NOW? HERE'S ABC'S ROBIN ROBERTS. >> AFTER BEING SOMEONE WHO WAS HERE'S ABC'S ROBIN ROBERTS. >> AFTER BEING SOMEONE WHO WAS SO PRIVATE, GUARDED, THAT'S ALL >> AFTER BEING SOMEONE WHO WAS SO PRIVATE, GUARDED, THAT'S ALL GOING TO CHANGE. SO PRIVATE, GUARDED, THAT'S ALL GOING TO CHANGE. ARE YOU READY? GOING TO CHANGE. ARE YOU READY? >> I FEEL LIKE I'VE NEVER WANTED ARE YOU READY? >> I FEEL LIKE I'VE NEVER WANTED TO SHARE MY PRIVATE LIFE FOR THE >> I FEEL LIKE I'VE NEVER WANTED TO SHARE MY PRIVATE LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF FAME OR FOR THE SAKE OF TO SHARE MY PRIVATE LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF FAME OR FOR THE SAKE OF ATTENTION. SAKE OF FAME OR FOR THE SAKE OF ATTENTION. BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS SHARING IS ATTENTION. BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS SHARING IS WITH PURPOSE. BUT I FEEL LIKE THIS SHARING IS WITH PURPOSE. >> YOU ARE? WITH PURPOSE. >> YOU ARE? >> OLIVIA. >> YOU ARE? >> OLIVIA. POPE. >> OLIVIA. POPE. >> Reporter: KERRY WASHINGTON POPE. >> Reporter: KERRY WASHINGTON HAS SPENT OVER TWO DECADES IN >> Reporter: KERRY WASHINGTON HAS SPENT OVER TWO DECADES IN CAREER-DEFINING ROLES. HAS SPENT OVER TWO DECADES IN CAREER-DEFINING ROLES. >> IT'S HANDLED. CAREER-DEFINING ROLES. >> IT'S HANDLED. >> Reporter: TRANSFORMING BEFORE >> IT'S HANDLED. >> Reporter: TRANSFORMING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES FROM ABC'S HIT >> Reporter: TRANSFORMING BEFORE OUR VERY EYES FROM ABC'S HIT CRIME TIME SHOW "SCANDAL" TO OUR VERY EYES FROM ABC'S HIT CRIME TIME SHOW "SCANDAL" TO BLOCKBUSTER FILMS LIKE "SAVE THE CRIME TIME SHOW "SCANDAL" TO BLOCKBUSTER FILMS LIKE "SAVE THE LAST DANCE." BLOCKBUSTER FILMS LIKE "SAVE THE LAST DANCE." >> YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU LAST DANCE." >> YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU SAY, DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU AT >> YOU NEED TO WATCH WHAT YOU SAY, DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU AT THAT TABLE AGAIN. SAY, DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU AT THAT TABLE AGAIN. >> Reporter: AND "DJANGO THAT TABLE AGAIN. >> Reporter: AND "DJANGO UNCHAINED." >> Reporter: AND "DJANGO UNCHAINED." CEMENTING HER PLACE AS A UNCHAINED." CEMENTING HER PLACE AS A HOLLYWOOD ICON. CEMENTING HER PLACE AS A HOLLYWOOD ICON. NOW IN A NEW MEMOIR "THICKER HOLLYWOOD ICON. NOW IN A NEW MEMOIR "THICKER THAN WATER," SHE'S TELLING HER NOW IN A NEW MEMOIR "THICKER THAN WATER," SHE'S TELLING HER OWN STORY. THAN WATER," SHE'S TELLING HER OWN STORY. SHARING DEEPLY PERSONAL OWN STORY. SHARING DEEPLY PERSONAL REVELATIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME. SHARING DEEPLY PERSONAL REVELATIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME. GETTING CANDID ABOUT HER REVELATIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME. GETTING CANDID ABOUT HER LIFELONG STRUGGLE TO FIND HER GETTING CANDID ABOUT HER LIFELONG STRUGGLE TO FIND HER OWN IDENTITY. LIFELONG STRUGGLE TO FIND HER OWN IDENTITY. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE YOUNG OWN IDENTITY. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE YOUNG KERRY. I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE YOUNG KERRY. DESCRIBE WHAT A YOUNG KERRY WAS KERRY. DESCRIBE WHAT A YOUNG KERRY WAS LIKE. DESCRIBE WHAT A YOUNG KERRY WAS LIKE. >> SHE WAS THIS BALL OF LIKE. >> SHE WAS THIS BALL OF CONTRADICTION. >> SHE WAS THIS BALL OF CONTRADICTION. RIGHT? CONTRADICTION. RIGHT? BECAUSE SHE WAS FILLED WITH LOVE RIGHT? BECAUSE SHE WAS FILLED WITH LOVE AND ENERGY AND ART. BECAUSE SHE WAS FILLED WITH LOVE AND ENERGY AND ART. BUT SHE WAS ALSO AFRAID AND AND ENERGY AND ART. BUT SHE WAS ALSO AFRAID AND STRUGGLING AND SEARCHING. BUT SHE WAS ALSO AFRAID AND STRUGGLING AND SEARCHING. >> Reporter: KERRY WAS BORN IN STRUGGLING AND SEARCHING. >> Reporter: KERRY WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, THE ONLY CHILD OF >> Reporter: KERRY WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, THE ONLY CHILD OF EARL AND VALERIE WASHINGTON. THE BRONX, THE ONLY CHILD OF EARL AND VALERIE WASHINGTON. HER FATHER, A BUSINESSMAN. EARL AND VALERIE WASHINGTON. HER FATHER, A BUSINESSMAN. HER MOTHER, A PROFESSOR OF HER FATHER, A BUSINESSMAN. HER MOTHER, A PROFESSOR OF EDUCATION. HER MOTHER, A PROFESSOR OF EDUCATION. YOU SAID YOU LIVED AMONG A EDUCATION. YOU SAID YOU LIVED AMONG A FAMILY OF PERFORMERS AND THE YOU SAID YOU LIVED AMONG A FAMILY OF PERFORMERS AND THE MAGIC TRICK WAS IN PRETENDING. FAMILY OF PERFORMERS AND THE MAGIC TRICK WAS IN PRETENDING. WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT? MAGIC TRICK WAS IN PRETENDING. WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT? >> WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME IF I'M THE WHAT DID YOU MEAN BY THAT? >> WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME IF I'M THE FIRST IN MY FAMILY TO GO INTO >> WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME IF I'M THE FIRST IN MY FAMILY TO GO INTO SHOW BUSINESS, I ALWAYS SAY I'M FIRST IN MY FAMILY TO GO INTO SHOW BUSINESS, I ALWAYS SAY I'M THE FIRST PERSON TO GET PAID FOR SHOW BUSINESS, I ALWAYS SAY I'M THE FIRST PERSON TO GET PAID FOR IT. THE FIRST PERSON TO GET PAID FOR IT. IN OUR FAMILY, WE KIND OF HAD IT. IN OUR FAMILY, WE KIND OF HAD THIS APPEARANCE THAT I THINK IN OUR FAMILY, WE KIND OF HAD THIS APPEARANCE THAT I THINK PEOPLE KNOW, BECAUSE IT'S WHAT THIS APPEARANCE THAT I THINK PEOPLE KNOW, BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I'VE PROJECTED, WHAT WE'VE PEOPLE KNOW, BECAUSE IT'S WHAT I'VE PROJECTED, WHAT WE'VE PROJECTED TO THE WORLD, OF BEING I'VE PROJECTED, WHAT WE'VE PROJECTED TO THE WORLD, OF BEING THIS KIND OF VERY SUCCESSFUL PROJECTED TO THE WORLD, OF BEING THIS KIND OF VERY SUCCESSFUL WORKING MIDDLE-CLASS, THIS KIND OF VERY SUCCESSFUL WORKING MIDDLE-CLASS, INTELLIGENT, ELEGANT, GRACEFUL WORKING MIDDLE-CLASS, INTELLIGENT, ELEGANT, GRACEFUL FAMILY. INTELLIGENT, ELEGANT, GRACEFUL FAMILY. WHERE EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT. FAMILY. WHERE EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT. YOU KNOW, THEY WERE PERFECT, AND WHERE EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT. YOU KNOW, THEY WERE PERFECT, AND I WAS PERFECT, AND WE WERE ALL YOU KNOW, THEY WERE PERFECT, AND I WAS PERFECT, AND WE WERE ALL KIND OF LIVING THIS PERFECT LIFE I WAS PERFECT, AND WE WERE ALL KIND OF LIVING THIS PERFECT LIFE OF SUCCESS AND EASE. KIND OF LIVING THIS PERFECT LIFE OF SUCCESS AND EASE. AND THAT WAS NOT THE CASE. OF SUCCESS AND EASE. AND THAT WAS NOT THE CASE. IT WAS LIKE A NEED TO ALWAYS AND THAT WAS NOT THE CASE. IT WAS LIKE A NEED TO ALWAYS PROJECT THE BEST OF US, LIKE AN IT WAS LIKE A NEED TO ALWAYS PROJECT THE BEST OF US, LIKE AN ASPIRATIONAL VERSION OF US. PROJECT THE BEST OF US, LIKE AN ASPIRATIONAL VERSION OF US. NOT NECESSARILY BE IN OUR TRUTH. ASPIRATIONAL VERSION OF US. NOT NECESSARILY BE IN OUR TRUTH. BOTH TO THE WORLD AND WITH EACH NOT NECESSARILY BE IN OUR TRUTH. BOTH TO THE WORLD AND WITH EACH OTHER. BOTH TO THE WORLD AND WITH EACH OTHER. >> Reporter: IN THE BOOK, KERRY OTHER. >> Reporter: IN THE BOOK, KERRY WRITING ABOUT BITTER ARGUMENTS >> Reporter: IN THE BOOK, KERRY WRITING ABOUT BITTER ARGUMENTS BETWEEN █HER PARENTS OVERHEARD A >> Reporter: IN THE BOOK, KERRY WRITING ABOUT BITTER ARGUMENTS BETWEEN █HER PARENTS OVERHEARD S WRITING ABOUT BITTER ARGUMENTS BETWEEN █HER PARENTS OVERHEARD S SHE PRETENDED TO BE ASLEEP. BETWEEN █HER PARENTS OVERHEARD S SHE PRETENDED TO BE ASLEEP. EMOTIONALLY CHARGED FIGHTS ABOUT SHE PRETENDED TO BE ASLEEP. EMOTIONALLY CHARGED FIGHTS ABOUT MONEY, HER FATHER'S DRINKING, EMOTIONALLY CHARGED FIGHTS ABOUT MONEY, HER FATHER'S DRINKING, AND HARDSHIPS IN THE MARRIAGE. MONEY, HER FATHER'S DRINKING, AND HARDSHIPS IN THE MARRIAGE. >> AS THEY SLAMMED DOORS AND AND HARDSHIPS IN THE MARRIAGE. >> AS THEY SLAMMED DOORS AND SHOUTED OBSCENITIES AT EACH >> AS THEY SLAMMED DOORS AND SHOUTED OBSCENITIES AT EACH OTHER, I COULD FEEL THE TENSION SHOUTED OBSCENITIES AT EACH OTHER, I COULD FEEL THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM VIBRATING THROUGH OTHER, I COULD FEEL THE TENSION BETWEEN THEM VIBRATING THROUGH THE WALL. BETWEEN THEM VIBRATING THROUGH THE WALL. I DEVELOPED PANIC ATTACKS AT THE WALL. I DEVELOPED PANIC ATTACKS AT NIGHT. I DEVELOPED PANIC ATTACKS AT NIGHT. >> Reporter: YOU SAID THAT YOU NIGHT. >> Reporter: YOU SAID THAT YOU FELT THAT YOU HAD TO BE THE ONE >> Reporter: YOU SAID THAT YOU FELT THAT YOU HAD TO BE THE ONE TO FIX IT? FELT THAT YOU HAD TO BE THE ONE TO FIX IT? >> YEAH, I THOUGHT MAYBE IF I'M TO FIX IT? >> YEAH, I THOUGHT MAYBE IF I'M A LITTLE SMARTER, MORE >> YEAH, I THOUGHT MAYBE IF I'M A LITTLE SMARTER, MORE SUCCESSFUL, PRETTIER, HAPPIER, A LITTLE SMARTER, MORE SUCCESSFUL, PRETTIER, HAPPIER, THINNER, EVENTUALLY I THOUGHT. SUCCESSFUL, PRETTIER, HAPPIER, THINNER, EVENTUALLY I THOUGHT. MAYBE IF I COULD BE BETTER IN THINNER, EVENTUALLY I THOUGHT. MAYBE IF I COULD BE BETTER IN SOME WAY, IT WILL MAKE THINGS MAYBE IF I COULD BE BETTER IN SOME WAY, IT WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR THIS FAMILY. SOME WAY, IT WILL MAKE THINGS BETTER FOR THIS FAMILY. AND I WANT TO BE REALLY CLEAR. BETTER FOR THIS FAMILY. AND I WANT TO BE REALLY CLEAR. MY PARENTS ARE EXTRAORDINARILY AND I WANT TO BE REALLY CLEAR. MY PARENTS ARE EXTRAORDINARILY LOVING PEOPLE. MY PARENTS ARE EXTRAORDINARILY LOVING PEOPLE. I HAVE INCREDIBLE PATTERNS. LOVING PEOPLE. I HAVE INCREDIBLE PATTERNS. BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS I HAVE INCREDIBLE PATTERNS. BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THEM, AND IT WAS BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH THEM, AND IT WAS ME TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THIS GOING ON WITH THEM, AND IT WAS ME TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THIS MYSTERY. ME TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THIS MYSTERY. >> Reporter: AND THERE WERE SO MYSTERY. >> Reporter: AND THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS THAT YOU REACHED OUT >> Reporter: AND THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS THAT YOU REACHED OUT TO, TO TRY AND HELP YOU? MANY THINGS THAT YOU REACHED OUT TO, TO TRY AND HELP YOU? >> YES. TO, TO TRY AND HELP YOU? >> YES. >> Reporter: ACTING WAS ONE? >> YES. >> Reporter: ACTING WAS ONE? >> YES. >> Reporter: ACTING WAS ONE? >> YES. >> Reporter: A LIFELINE FOR YOU >> YES. >> Reporter: A LIFELINE FOR YOU IN SOME WAYS? >> Reporter: A LIFELINE FOR YOU IN SOME WAYS? >> I WAS SO LUCKY TO FIND IN SOME WAYS? >> I WAS SO LUCKY TO FIND ACTING. >> I WAS SO LUCKY TO FIND ACTING. IT BECAME AN ESCAPE, RIGHT? ACTING. IT BECAME AN ESCAPE, RIGHT? FROM ANY OF THE FEAR AND THE IT BECAME AN ESCAPE, RIGHT? FROM ANY OF THE FEAR AND THE ANXIETY AND THE FEELINGS OF NOT FROM ANY OF THE FEAR AND THE ANXIETY AND THE FEELINGS OF NOT ENOUGH-NESS THAT I WAS ANXIETY AND THE FEELINGS OF NOT ENOUGH-NESS THAT I WAS STRUGGLING WITH. ENOUGH-NESS THAT I WAS STRUGGLING WITH. I COULD JUMP INTO A CHARACTER STRUGGLING WITH. I COULD JUMP INTO A CHARACTER AND NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ANY I COULD JUMP INTO A CHARACTER AND NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ANY OF THAT. AND NOT HAVE TO THINK ABOUT ANY OF THAT. I COULD JUST BE THIS OTHER OF THAT. I COULD JUST BE THIS OTHER PERSON. I COULD JUST BE THIS OTHER PERSON. AND THEN THE CHARACTERS STARTED PERSON. AND THEN THE CHARACTERS STARTED TO SAVE ME IN A WHOLE NEW WAY. AND THEN THE CHARACTERS STARTED TO SAVE ME IN A WHOLE NEW WAY. THEN THEY BECAME NOT JUST A TO SAVE ME IN A WHOLE NEW WAY. THEN THEY BECAME NOT JUST A PLACE WHERE I COULD HIDE, BUT THEN THEY BECAME NOT JUST A PLACE WHERE I COULD HIDE, BUT THEY BECAME A PLACE WHERE I PLACE WHERE I COULD HIDE, BUT THEY BECAME A PLACE WHERE I COULD LIVE THROUGH THEM. THEY BECAME A PLACE WHERE I COULD LIVE THROUGH THEM. >> Reporter: KERRY FOUND MORE COULD LIVE THROUGH THEM. >> Reporter: KERRY FOUND MORE THAN AN ESCAPE. >> Reporter: KERRY FOUND MORE THAN AN ESCAPE. SHE FOUND SUCCESS IN ACTING THAN AN ESCAPE. SHE FOUND SUCCESS IN ACTING EARLY ON. SHE FOUND SUCCESS IN ACTING EARLY ON. PERFORMING WITH THE STAR THEATER EARLY ON. PERFORMING WITH THE STAR THEATER PROGRAM, A GROUP FOCUSED ON PERFORMING WITH THE STAR THEATER PROGRAM, A GROUP FOCUSED ON PROMOTING TEEN HEALTH, INCLUDING PROGRAM, A GROUP FOCUSED ON PROMOTING TEEN HEALTH, INCLUDING TEACHING YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT PROMOTING TEEN HEALTH, INCLUDING TEACHING YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT SAFER SEX IN THE MIDST OF THE TEACHING YOUNG PEOPLE ABOUT SAFER SEX IN THE MIDST OF THE AIDS EPIDEMIC. SAFER SEX IN THE MIDST OF THE AIDS EPIDEMIC. >> I LOST IT WITH ERIC. AIDS EPIDEMIC. >> I LOST IT WITH ERIC. >> Reporter: THIS WORK LED TO AN >> I LOST IT WITH ERIC. >> Reporter: THIS WORK LED TO AN APPEARANCE ON AN ABC NEWS >> Reporter: THIS WORK LED TO AN APPEARANCE ON AN ABC NEWS SPECIAL WITH PETER JENNINGS. APPEARANCE ON AN ABC NEWS SPECIAL WITH PETER JENNINGS. >> A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THAT SPECIAL WITH PETER JENNINGS. >> A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THAT SHE HEARD ERIC HAD AIDS OR HIV >> A FRIEND OF MINE TOLD ME THAT SHE HEARD ERIC HAD AIDS OR HIV OR SOMETHING. SHE HEARD ERIC HAD AIDS OR HIV OR SOMETHING. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH OR SOMETHING. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DEAL WITH THIS? I'M ONLY 14. THIS? I'M ONLY 14. WHO CAN I TALK TO ABOUT THIS? I'M ONLY 14. WHO CAN I TALK TO ABOUT THIS? WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN? WHO CAN I TALK TO ABOUT THIS? WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN? IT'S SO CONFUSING. WHAT DOES ALL THIS MEAN? IT'S SO CONFUSING. I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. IT'S SO CONFUSING. I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. >> Reporter: IT LED TO YOU I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. >> Reporter: IT LED TO YOU GETTING A NICKNAME, CORRECT? >> Reporter: IT LED TO YOU GETTING A NICKNAME, CORRECT? WHAT WAS IT? GETTING A NICKNAME, CORRECT? WHAT WAS IT? >> DID IT. WHAT WAS IT? >> DID IT. I WAS A PEER EDUCATOR. >> DID IT. I WAS A PEER EDUCATOR. I ALWAYS HAD CONDOMS IN MY I WAS A PEER EDUCATOR. I ALWAYS HAD CONDOMS IN MY BACKPACK, AND I WAS "CONDOM I ALWAYS HAD CONDOMS IN MY BACKPACK, AND I WAS "CONDOM KERRY." BACKPACK, AND I WAS "CONDOM KERRY." >> Reporter: BUT WHILE SHE KERRY." >> Reporter: BUT WHILE SHE APPEARED TO HAVE IT ALL >> Reporter: BUT WHILE SHE APPEARED TO HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER, SHE WAS CONCEALING HER APPEARED TO HAVE IT ALL TOGETHER, SHE WAS CONCEALING HER OWN STRUGGLES. TOGETHER, SHE WAS CONCEALING HER OWN STRUGGLES. YOU SAID, I WAS USING ALCOHOL OWN STRUGGLES. YOU SAID, I WAS USING ALCOHOL AND SOMETIMES FOOD AND SOMETIMES YOU SAID, I WAS USING ALCOHOL AND SOMETIMES FOOD AND SOMETIMES WEED AND SOMETIMES SEX TO ALTER AND SOMETIMES FOOD AND SOMETIMES WEED AND SOMETIMES SEX TO ALTER MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY AND ALLOW ME WEED AND SOMETIMES SEX TO ALTER MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY AND ALLOW ME A DANGEROUSLY DESTRUCTIVE MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY AND ALLOW ME A DANGEROUSLY DESTRUCTIVE ESCAPE. A DANGEROUSLY DESTRUCTIVE ESCAPE. I HAD TO MAINTAIN THIS FACADE OF ESCAPE. I HAD TO MAINTAIN THIS FACADE OF THE OVERACHIEVING HIGH SCHOOL I HAD TO MAINTAIN THIS FACADE OF THE OVERACHIEVING HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATOR, PERFORMING ON THE OVERACHIEVING HIGH SCHOOL EDUCATOR, PERFORMING ON PRIMETIME TELEVISION, MY GRADES EDUCATOR, PERFORMING ON PRIMETIME TELEVISION, MY GRADES WERE GOOD, I WAS THE LEAD IN THE PRIMETIME TELEVISION, MY GRADES WERE GOOD, I WAS THE LEAD IN THE PLAY. WERE GOOD, I WAS THE LEAD IN THE PLAY. THEN AFTER HOURS, I WAS ACTING PLAY. THEN AFTER HOURS, I WAS ACTING OUT. THEN AFTER HOURS, I WAS ACTING OUT. >> Reporter: SHARING THE DEPTHS OUT. >> Reporter: SHARING THE DEPTHS OF AN EATING DISORDER SHE >> Reporter: SHARING THE DEPTHS OF AN EATING DISORDER SHE DESCRIBES AS RAGING OUT OF OF AN EATING DISORDER SHE DESCRIBES AS RAGING OUT OF CONTROL. DESCRIBES AS RAGING OUT OF CONTROL. >> BY THE TIME I GOT TO COLLEGE, CONTROL. >> BY THE TIME I GOT TO COLLEGE, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND MY >> BY THE TIME I GOT TO COLLEGE, MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND MY BODY HAD BECOME A TOXIC CYCLE OF MY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD AND MY BODY HAD BECOME A TOXIC CYCLE OF SELF ABUSE THAT UTILIZED THE BODY HAD BECOME A TOXIC CYCLE OF SELF ABUSE THAT UTILIZED THE TOOLS OF STAR RACE, BINGE SELF ABUSE THAT UTILIZED THE TOOLS OF STAR RACE, BINGE EATING, BODY OBSESSION, AND TOOLS OF STAR RACE, BINGE EATING, BODY OBSESSION, AND COMPULSIVE EXERCISE. EATING, BODY OBSESSION, AND COMPULSIVE EXERCISE. THE FIRST TIME I GOT TO MY KNEES COMPULSIVE EXERCISE. THE FIRST TIME I GOT TO MY KNEES AND PRAYED TO SOME POWER GREATER THE FIRST TIME I GOT TO MY KNEES AND PRAYED TO SOME POWER GREATER THAN MYSELF TO SAY, I CAN'T DO AND PRAYED TO SOME POWER GREATER THAN MYSELF TO SAY, I CAN'T DO THIS, I NEED SOME HELP, WAS WITH THAN MYSELF TO SAY, I CAN'T DO THIS, I NEED SOME HELP, WAS WITH MY EATING DISORDER. THIS, I NEED SOME HELP, WAS WITH MY EATING DISORDER. >> Reporter: KERRY STRUGGLING TO MY EATING DISORDER. >> Reporter: KERRY STRUGGLING TO MAINTAIN THAT PERFECT IMAGE ON >> Reporter: KERRY STRUGGLING TO MAINTAIN THAT PERFECT IMAGE ON THE OUTSIDE AS A SECRET BATTLE MAINTAIN THAT PERFECT IMAGE ON THE OUTSIDE AS A SECRET BATTLE BREWED ON THE INSIDE. THE OUTSIDE AS A SECRET BATTLE BREWED ON THE INSIDE. >> I WAS GOOD AT PERFORMING BREWED ON THE INSIDE. >> I WAS GOOD AT PERFORMING PERFECT. >> I WAS GOOD AT PERFORMING PERFECT. I WAS GOOD AT CONTROL. PERFECT. I WAS GOOD AT CONTROL. I COULD PARTY ALL NIGHT AND I WAS GOOD AT CONTROL. I COULD PARTY ALL NIGHT AND DRINK AND SMOKE AND HAVE SECOND I COULD PARTY ALL NIGHT AND DRINK AND SMOKE AND HAVE SECOND AND STILL SHOW AND UP HAVE GOOD DRINK AND SMOKE AND HAVE SECOND AND STILL SHOW AND UP HAVE GOOD GRADES. AND STILL SHOW AND UP HAVE GOOD GRADES. I KNEW HOW TO MANAGE. GRADES. I KNEW HOW TO MANAGE. I WAS SO HIGH FUNCTIONING. I KNEW HOW TO MANAGE. I WAS SO HIGH FUNCTIONING. AND THE FOOD TOOK ME OUT. I WAS SO HIGH FUNCTIONING. AND THE FOOD TOOK ME OUT. THE BODY DISMORE FEE YEAH, THE AND THE FOOD TOOK ME OUT. THE BODY DISMORE FEE YEAH, THE BODY HATRED, IT WAS BEYOND MY THE BODY DISMORE FEE YEAH, THE BODY HATRED, IT WAS BEYOND MY CONTROL. BODY HATRED, IT WAS BEYOND MY CONTROL. AND I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE I CONTROL. AND I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITH AND I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITH THIS. DON'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITH THIS. I COULD FEEL HOW THE ABUSE THIS. I COULD FEEL HOW THE ABUSE WAS -- WAS A WAY TO REALLY HURT I COULD FEEL HOW THE ABUSE WAS -- WAS A WAY TO REALLY HURT MYSELF. WAS -- WAS A WAY TO REALLY HURT MYSELF. AS IF I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE. MYSELF. AS IF I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE. LIKE, IT SCARED ME THAT I AS IF I DIDN'T WANT TO BE HERE. LIKE, IT SCARED ME THAT I COULD -- THAT I COULD WANT TO LIKE, IT SCARED ME THAT I COULD -- THAT I COULD WANT TO NOT BE HERE. COULD -- THAT I COULD WANT TO NOT BE HERE. BECAUSE I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN. NOT BE HERE. BECAUSE I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN. >> Reporter: SO YOU ACTUALLY BECAUSE I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN. >> Reporter: SO YOU ACTUALLY CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE? >> Reporter: SO YOU ACTUALLY CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE? >> YEAH. CONTEMPLATED SUICIDE? >> YEAH. YEAH. >> YEAH. YEAH. >> Reporter: THAT'S HOW DARK? YEAH. >> Reporter: THAT'S HOW DARK? >> YEAH. >> Reporter: THAT'S HOW DARK? >> YEAH. THE BEHAVIOR WAS TINY, LITTLE >> YEAH. THE BEHAVIOR WAS TINY, LITTLE ACTS OF TRYING TO DESTROY THE BEHAVIOR WAS TINY, LITTLE ACTS OF TRYING TO DESTROY MYSELF. ACTS OF TRYING TO DESTROY MYSELF. >> Reporter: KERRY SAYS SHE HAS MYSELF. >> Reporter: KERRY SAYS SHE HAS SINCE SOUGHT PROFESSIONAL >> Reporter: KERRY SAYS SHE HAS SINCE SOUGHT PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING ON THE ROAD TO SINCE SOUGHT PROFESSIONAL COUNSELING ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY. COUNSELING ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY. HOW DO YOU NOT REVERT BACK TO A RECOVERY. HOW DO YOU NOT REVERT BACK TO A PATTERN THAT YOU HAD FOR SO MANY HOW DO YOU NOT REVERT BACK TO A PATTERN THAT YOU HAD FOR SO MANY YEARS IN YOUR LIFE? PATTERN THAT YOU HAD FOR SO MANY YEARS IN YOUR LIFE? >> I WOULDN'T SAY I NEVER ACT YEARS IN YOUR LIFE? >> I WOULDN'T SAY I NEVER ACT OUT WITH FOOD. >> I WOULDN'T SAY I NEVER ACT OUT WITH FOOD. IT'S JUST VERY DIFFERENT NOW. OUT WITH FOOD. IT'S JUST VERY DIFFERENT NOW. IT'S NOT TO THE EXTREME. IT'S JUST VERY DIFFERENT NOW. IT'S NOT TO THE EXTREME. THERE'S NO SUICIDAL IDEATION. IT'S NOT TO THE EXTREME. THERE'S NO SUICIDAL IDEATION. BUT I KNOW, LIKE -- OH, I'M THERE'S NO SUICIDAL IDEATION. BUT I KNOW, LIKE -- OH, I'M FEELING A LITTLE MANIC, INSTEAD BUT I KNOW, LIKE -- OH, I'M FEELING A LITTLE MANIC, INSTEAD OF SITTING DOWN AND DOING THE FEELING A LITTLE MANIC, INSTEAD OF SITTING DOWN AND DOING THE WORK I NEED TO DO, I'M STILL AT OF SITTING DOWN AND DOING THE WORK I NEED TO DO, I'M STILL AT THE GYM. WORK I NEED TO DO, I'M STILL AT THE GYM. WHAT IS IT THAT I AM AVOIDING THE GYM. WHAT IS IT THAT I AM AVOIDING TODAY? WHAT IS IT THAT I AM AVOIDING TODAY? IT DEFINITELY LOOKS A LOT TODAY? IT DEFINITELY LOOKS A LOT MORE -- IT LOOKS A LOT IT DEFINITELY LOOKS A LOT MORE -- IT LOOKS A LOT HEALTHIER. MORE -- IT LOOKS A LOT HEALTHIER. IT'S A LOT EASIER. HEALTHIER. IT'S A LOT EASIER. IT'S A LOT SANER. IT'S A LOT EASIER. IT'S A LOT SANER. >> Reporter: AFTER A LIFESTYLE IT'S A LOT SANER. >> Reporter: AFTER A LIFESTYLE OF SEARCHING, THE ACTOR, WIFE, >> Reporter: AFTER A LIFESTYLE OF SEARCHING, THE ACTOR, WIFE, AND MOTHER SAYS THAT SHE IS OF SEARCHING, THE ACTOR, WIFE, AND MOTHER SAYS THAT SHE IS LIVING AS BOLDLY OFFSTAGE AS SHE AND MOTHER SAYS THAT SHE IS LIVING AS BOLDLY OFFSTAGE AS SHE DOES IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. LIVING AS BOLDLY OFFSTAGE AS SHE DOES IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. STANDING IN HER TRUTH AND MOVING DOES IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA. STANDING IN HER TRUTH AND MOVING FORWARD AND HEALING AND IN LOVE. STANDING IN HER TRUTH AND MOVING FORWARD AND HEALING AND IN LOVE. >> IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I FEEL FORWARD AND HEALING AND IN LOVE. >> IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE COME TO A POINT IN MY >> IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE I'VE COME TO A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE THE PERSON, KERRY LIKE I'VE COME TO A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE THE PERSON, KERRY WASHINGTON, IS NOW AS IMPORTANT LIFE WHERE THE PERSON, KERRY WASHINGTON, IS NOW AS IMPORTANT AS ANY CHARACTER I'VE PLAYED. WASHINGTON, IS NOW AS IMPORTANT AS ANY CHARACTER I'VE PLAYED. AND I GET TO HAVE MY TRUTH. AS ANY CHARACTER I'VE PLAYED. AND I GET TO HAVE MY TRUTH. AND I GET TO BE MYSELF NOW. AND I GET TO HAVE MY TRUTH. AND I GET TO BE MYSELF NOW. >> Juju: OUR THANKS TO ROBIN. AND I GET TO BE MYSELF NOW. >> Juju: OUR THANKS TO ROBIN. FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING WITH >> Juju: OUR THANKS TO ROBIN. FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING WITH THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE, FREE HELP FOR ANYONE STRUGGLING WITH THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE, FREE HELP IS AVAILABLE. THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE, FREE HELP IS AVAILABLE. TEXT OR CALL THE CRISIS LINE AT IS AVAILABLE. TEXT OR CALL THE CRISIS LINE AT 988. TEXT OR CALL THE CRISIS LINE AT 988. KERRY WASHINGTON SHARES MANY 988. KERRY WASHINGTON SHARES MANY MORE REVELATIONS IN HER KERRY WASHINGTON SHARES MANY MORE REVELATIONS IN HER CONVERSATION WITH ROBIN. MORE REVELATIONS IN HER CONVERSATION WITH ROBIN. CATCH IT ALL O